It's been awhile... but we have a really good excuse this time! We've been spending quite a bit of time at the Mayo Clinic and not just because I work there!
Ironically enough, at work we do our vacation picks in early January, so the timing of our vacation(starting May 24th) and Steve's surgery couldn't have been more perfect. Steve continues to recover and gains more and more strength each day. He's actually doing quite a bit better than I had hoped for and it's been less than 3 weeks since his surgery!
He was released from the hospital on May 26th - quite a bit earlier than the last time he had surgery! We were massively impressed with the nursing staff and doctors caring for him. The next day, Amaya wasn't quite herself. I took her to Home Depot and Sargeant's to pick out flowers for my garden and thought it would be fun with her helping choose the flowers. In hindsight, I should have left her at home. She was whiny, clingy and touched or knocked down just about every plant she saw. It was an absolutely miserable experience! Later that evening, we were eating dinner and she wasn't touching her food at all. I asked her if she wanted to eat her dinner on my lap and two seconds after getting her situated, she threw up EVERYWHERE! Not to be too graphic, but it was like someone turned on a water spigot full blast! Nearing my breaking point... we called for reinforcements. Steve's mom came over and entertained Amaya while I got everything cleaned up. Thank goodness for Grandmas!! Ten minutes later, Amaya was twirling and jumping around, happy to be playing with Grandma. Fortunately no one else got sick.
The following day, Amaya and I spent most of the day outside getting the flowers planted and watered. I haven't taken a picture of the flower garden yet, but it is beautiful! Around 11:30pm I woke up with an itchy feeling on the backs of my legs and my lower back. It was all red and it looked like I had welts all over. I've never felt more miserable - not even during childbirth! I put on some skin cream and contemplated going to the ER, but that would have been too complicated. I ended up going to Mayo Express Care and got a prescription for a steroid cream and an over-the-counter antihistamine. I did two sets of wet dressings with the steroid cream and I felt so much better. Whew! Until.... about midnight, I was even more itchy than I had been the night before and nearly all of my body was covered in hives! Complicated or not, we were going to the ER!! Once again, Steve's mom and dad came over to stay with Amaya and Steve's dad drove us to the ER. They ended up giving me a steroid shot and a shot of antihistamine. Shortly thereafter, I felt so much better. The medication made me really drowsy, but at this point - I'd do just about anything to stop itching. I was on a five day course of predinsone and vistaril. I have a new appreciation for our dermatology patients when they rate their itching a "1o out of 10." I've been there!
Then on June 1st, I had an appointment to have an ultrasound guided biopsy done on a lump that I've had by my ear. My dentist found the lump about a year and a half ago and recommended that I get it checked out. I had two of our dermatology doctors feel it and my family med doctor feel it and they all thought it was a swollen lymph node that would eventually resolve on it's own. When I went in for my physical this year, I asked my family med doctor if I could get it checked out. She referred me to an ENT specialist and I met with her in early May. She wasn't too concerned about it since it hadn't changed size or shape in the time that it was first discovered. One of my friend's son had a similar lump and it turned out to be malignant requiring surgery and radiation, so I told the ENT specialist that I wanted a diagnosis. She set me up for an ultrasound guided biopsy to give me "peace of mind." The biopsy wasn't too painful - they injected lidocaine near the lump to numb up the area and that hurt quite a bit, but the seven other needles they poked in the lump didn't hurt at all. I was scheduled to meet with the ENT specialist later that afternoon and planned to have all of my anxieties relieved. When Steve and I sat down with her, she said, "The results came back positive for a neoplasm." A neoplasm is a fancy word for tumor. It's supposed to be a swollen lymph node!! This biopsy was supposed to be negative! This test was just supposed to alleviate my worries!
I'm glad that Steve was with me because I was in such shock that I was only able to comprehend a third of what she was telling me. At this point, they are unable to determine whether or not the tumor is benign or malignant. They scheduled me for surgery this Friday, June 11th to remove the tumor and if they find that tumor is malignant, they'll investigate a little further to make sure it's not in the lymph nodes, etc. Most likely, I'll be in the hospital overnight with the possibility of a drain inserted to remove additional fluid. I talked with my friend whose son underwent the same procedure and she said he was back to school in 2 days. I'm hoping that this will be the case with me - a quick stay in the hospital and quick recovery. They'll put me completely out, so the anesthesia may take a couple of days to get out of my system, but I'm hoping that the side effects will be minimal.
We're hanging in there... I'm holding up better than I thought... I think the hardest thing is trying to control my thoughts. One day I'm discouraged thinking it's malignant, worry about the surgery and possible radiation and get angry and the next day I'm hopeful and encouraged that God will give me the strength to face whatever the outcome. I continue to pray that God would take my thoughts captive and that He would calm my anxious heart. On so many occasions, I've felt God's wave of peace rush over me. Even when I received the results of the biopsy, a nurse came in to schedule the surgery and it was a nurse I had worked with a few years ago and reassured me that I was in good hands. What she doesn't realize is that I'm in God's hands and that's all that matters. God has me surrounded by family, friends, and co-workers and I've been so overwhelmed by the amount of support and love. No matter what happens on Friday, I'm reassured that there are people that love us and can take care of us. Thank you to everyone who has emailed or called with words of encouragement! Thank you to everyone who has offered to watch Amaya, bring us a meal, or bring us chocolate cake and laughter! You are God's angels and I'm trying very hard to learn to accept help when I'm in over my head and to allow you to serve!
I'm supposed to call the hospital the night before to find out my time for surgery on Friday. At this point, Steve will call immediate family with results/updates and will try to update on facebook. We'll try to e-mail/call/update as soon as possible. Thank you again for your prayers! We serve a mighty God and He is faithful and by my side - whatever the outcome.