My first few days back to work have been uneventful. Amaya seems to be adjusting fine going over to the grandma's houses and has been sleeping WONDERFUL at night the past three nights! I think they are wearing her out!! Steve is getting the hang of getting Amaya ready in the morning. I'm still having a difficult time leaving her in the morning, but usually by the time I'm at work, I've been able to pull myself together.
What I'm struggling with is trying to find a balance and trying to get everything done that needs to be done. While on maternity leave, I spent quite a bit of time reading while I was nursing Amaya (especially during those late night, early morning hours - I don't miss those anymore!) Anyway, I've been reading a lot of Elizabeth George's books - "Beautiful in God's Eyes", "A Woman after God's Own Heart," and more recently "Life Management for Busy Women." What I like about her writing is that she has a very traditional view of women's roles (very similar to my own). And most everything she talks about is backed by Scripture. Anyway, in her book, "A Woman After God's Own Heart," she talks specifically about maintaining priorities and looking to God to define your priorities. Here's a list of them and in order:
1. Loving God and following after Him with a whole heart.
2. Loving, helping, and serving my husband
3. Loving, teaching, and discipling my children.
4. Loving and caring for a home in order to provide a quality life for my family.
5. Developing myself so that I have something to give to others.
6. Loving and serving God's people.
7. Everything else (family, friends, work, hobbies, etc.)
So... where does blogging fit in my priorities?!?
Anyway, I've really been convicted these past few months about where my priorities are. And especially after having a baby who is completely dependent on Steve and me for everything, our priorities have to be shifted somehow. While I agree with most of Elizabeth George's list of priorities, there are some that I disagree with and it may vary day to day. For example, if my mom calls and wants to go out to lunch (Priority #7), am I really going to say, "No, I can't. I haven't cleaned the bathroom yet(Priority #4)? Most likely not. I'm going to spend the time with my mom because that's a higher priority to me. But, the list provides a great way to keep things in check and serves as a guide. Another example (and a common situation) - Steve's home from work and I didn't get a chance to get all my housework done. He wants to watch a movie with me, I want the laundry to get folded. What's my priority? Before reading the book, I would have folded the laundry then watch a movie with Steve (if we had time). But how does that make Steve feel? Now, I've learned to watch the movie with Steve (Priority #2), then fold the laundry TOGETHER (Priority #4 AND Priority #2). And if we didn't have time to fold the laundry, at least Steve and I have spent time together and I've made him more important than my own agenda.
It's been a challenge to try to squeeze in as many things as possible every day - no wonder people look forward to retirement! I'm still learning to let go and say no and figure out "What does God want me to do day?" "What would be pleasing to God?" "What can I do today to show God that I love Him and that He is my #1 priority?" "What can I do today to love, help, and serve Steve to show him that He is my #2 priority? "What can I do today to love and teach Amaya to show her that she is my #3 priority?" "What's important to me?" "What's important to God?" "Are they the same things?" "Should they be the same things?" At the end of the day, can I honestly say that I put God before my husband? At the end of the day, can I honestly say that I put Steve before Amaya? "What kind of treasures am I storing in heaven?" Something to think about.... THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE! REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!
-Jan