Our Sweet Girl

One of the things I love about Amaya is her tender heart and sweet spirit. There's just something about her hugs and kisses and "I love yous" that warms my heart. I love coming home from work and hear her shouting from inside the house, "Mama's home!" And then I usually get a great big hug and kiss! Here a few snapshots I took of her playing "Mommy and Baby." She's just too cute!

She's going to be a great mommy when she's older!

Here she is praying with her baby.

Somersaults

One of the skills we were working on so hard while she was in gymnastics class were somersaults. In mid-May, she finally mastered it - ON HER OWN! (The pillow - that's her "trampoline" - go figure!) Now she wants to learn how to do a cartwheel!

New Resident Orientation

For the past four months of July, I've been pestering our nurse manager to arrange for the new dermatology residents to get a formal orientation/training in our phototherapy department. At least once a month, we get a phone call from a former doctor who trained at Mayo wondering how to order phototherapy and how to dose appropriately. Shouldn't they have already learned that?

Anyway, at the beginning of June, two consultants caught on to my vision and approached me to help them come up with orientation manual and skills checklist to teach the first year residents. We decided to do a full hour in the phototherapy department to get a quick overview of the pieces of equipment and then they have to complete 2 mandatory half days of orientation treating patients, calculating doses, and assessing skin.

Today, the 8 first year residents, along with 3 second year and 2 third year residents, met me in the phototherapy department to get a quick overview. I haven't given a presentation in a REALLY long time - I can't even remember the last one I gave - and I was pretty nervous. I was glad to see the second year and third year residents join in, but it made me even more nervous. Then my nurse manager told me not to worry because she was going to be there too! That made me worry even more!! Once I realized that they really didn't have a clue about phototherapy, I calmed down (a little).

My nurse manager said it went really well and I think it did too. Everyone participated and they had a lot of questions - I'm told that this is a good thing. The hour flew by a lot faster than I thought it would. I'm glad it's done... the butterflies are finally settling in my stomach... but now I don't have a project.... and I really want a project.... what next?!?

Summertime!

This is what summer is all about - warm weather, family, and lots of laughs!

We've gone to a couple of Lydia and Annika's soccer games this summer and now Amaya wants to learn to play soccer - and baseball like Ben - and diving like Annika... Anything that the big kids do, she wants to do too!

Steve's parents gave me a rhubarb plant for Mother's Day and after I got it planted it looked a little lonely so I bought another one. Just in a few months, they've exploded in growth!

These are the flowers that Amaya and I planted at the end of May - it was either planting the flowers or the silly whirlybird seeds from our tree that gave me hives or maybe it was just a fluke... Anyway, we are still enjoying them!

Amaya was really excited to help me plant the flowers. We went to Home Depot and Sargeant's and got a large variety. Her favorite ones are the yellow Begonias - and they just might be my favorite too!

I still can't believe that it's already July... We're hoping that we can squeeze in as much fun as we can before our schedule gets crazy in the fall. Hope everyone is having a great summer!

Puzzle Piece Found

Back in March, I blogged about finishing my challenging 2000 piece Christmas puzzle and was so disappointed because I was missing a piece! There's nothing more frustrating than working so hard only to find out you're missing a piece. I was so careful - keeping a close eye on Amaya - and yet, despite my best efforts, one lone piece was MIA. This week, Steve found the piece - in his SCHOOL BAG!!! Since the puzzle captivated most of my time, Steve would do his homework at the dining room table where I was camped out. All we can figure is that somehow that piece ended up sneaking into his bag. Oh, well....at least it was found! Maybe I'll have to do it again with ALL of the pieces accounted for.... or maybe not.... who knows?

Whitewater State Park

Yesterday was the first day that I REALLY felt like it was summer. Steve was out mowing the lawn, Amaya and I were playing soccer and spending time on the deck - it was WONDERFUL! Steve and I are both nearly 100% recovered from our surgeries - so let the fun begin! We've got a lot things that we want to do this summer - go back to the zoo a couple times, go to MOA, go to Lanesboro, get our bikes out, head the to pool, camp, and oh, yeah - VACATION!

Even though our spring didn't turn out exactly like we had planned, we still had plenty of fun - I just didn't have the chance to blog about it. Here we are at Whitewater State Park with our little explorer and naturalist!


This is the beginning of the Chimney Rock Trail - what we assumed was the "easy" trail. With all the stairs, we were very impressed that Amaya did as well as she did!



We made it! The top of Chimney Rock! Because we were so high up and the trail was a little treacherous and due to the fact that Amaya has no fear, Steve carried Amaya for part of the trail.



Steve and Amaya at the top of Chimney Rock. The hole that they were sitting in extended all the way through the rock so they could see the other side.

Me and Amaya:

At an overlook:

Towards the end of the trail, Amaya wanted to explore the big branches.

Although she wasn't quite content just looking at them... she had to climb on them too!

At the end of our hike, we spent some time by the lake. The weather was amazing and if it were a few degrees warmer, we would have had a great time swimming.



We just might have to add Whitewater State Park to our list of things to do this summer because we had an absolute blast!

Our Little Dancer

Lately, all Amaya's been doing is singing and dancing... this picture was taken awhile ago... she no longer has her crib up anymore... Doesn't she look like a big girl!?!? When did this happen? There's a Mommy and Me Dance class at Janet Lang Dance Studio that I might enroll her in this fall, otherwise we have to wait until she's three to get her into a Creative Dance class at Janet Lang or at JETS (where she did gymnastics). But for now, she's content dancing and twirling and singing in our living room!

Comic Relief

Amaya been a constant source of joy and comic relief these past few weeks... I almost had to pull over on the side of the road because I was laughing so hard I could hardly see where I was going...

Me: "Amaya, what do you want to get at Kohl's?"
Amaya: "A baby brother."
Me: "I don't think we can get a baby brother at Kohl's."
Amaya: "Let's go to Mall of America and get one."
Me: "You think Mall of America would have a baby brother?"
Amaya: "Mall of America has lots of things."
Me: "You want a baby brother and not a baby sister?"
Amaya: "Maybe Mall of America has both. I want both."
Me: "What store do we have to go to?"
Amaya: "The Baby Store!"

***Disclaimer: We have not been talking, thinking, or praying about Baby #2! :-)

BENIGN!

Words can't even describe how thankful I am to everyone who has been faithfully praying and encouraging our family these past few weeks. Once again, I am overwhelmed by the amount of support and love shown to us. E-mails, cards, flowers, meals, watching Amaya, phone calls, etc.... And never have I been so overwhelmed by God's presence!! A dear friend of our family sent me a card this week and said, "Our God never sleeps nor slumbers!" How incredible is that!

Surgery overall went very well and I am so pleased to report that my tumor was BENIGN!! We had a few little bumps in the road... at late surgery report time... difficulty getting in an IV... finding out that a little oxygen mask wouldn't do the trick because of the location of the surgery and that I needed to be intubated (a breathing tube inserted down by throat)... a very looong surgery time... not having the luxury of a private room... and poor tolerance to pain meds. BUT - once again, God placed people in my paths to give me encouragement! The nurse who admitted me in the pre-op area just happened to be a good friend to my closest friend at work. She joked around and made me feel as comfortable as I could. I even got the only pre-op room with a bed so I could REALLY get comfortable!! Generally speaking, every single person taking care of me whether it was escort or the anesthesiologist or the IV technician was flat out amazing!

From the pre-op waiting room I had to say good-bye to Steve, I was then taken to another room to get prepped for surgery. The nurse asked me all of the same questions as the admitting nurse - double checking EVERYTHING! The anesthesiologist, certified nurse anesthetist, and OR circulating nurse came in to talk to me about what to expect etc. This is when I found out about the breathing tube... (eek!)... they put it in when I was "sleeping" and took it out when I was able to follow commands after surgery... and they were right - I don't remember anything. My ENT specialist - who is absolutely awesome - marked where she was going to be doing surgery and told me that she would do her very best no matter what happened. She told me it would be about a 2 hour procedure once she got the five nerves surrounding the tumor located and secured. While I was still under anesthesia, a pathologist would look at the cells of the tumor and determine whether it was benign or malignant.

Around 1:45pm, they brought me back to the OR... I'd been in an OR before during nursing school and have seen enough television shows depicting OR rooms, but for some reason I was still expecting Dr. McDreamy to be walking through the doors... my ENT specialist wished that were the case too! :-) Everyone was an absolute blast - the anesthesiologist was "trying" to tell jokes while the nurse anesthetist was putting in my "sleepy medication." I was told that pretty soon I would get really loopy and forget everything. I wasn't loopy at all - my IV was hurting too bad! They looked at my IV site and sure enough, it had blown through the vein. Literally, five seconds later the anesthesiologist had another IV put in on my other hand and I didn't feel a thing! We starting talking about the crazy things that Amaya does and the next thing I remember was the recovery room.

In recovery (around 6pm)... I remember being sick to my stomach and wanting to know where my mom was and wanting to know where Amaya was.

Around 7pm, I was brought up to my room and I remember being carted by an older lady, thinking... "so much for my private room." Then, a nurse told me to roll on my side and they were going to transfer me to my bed. A few minutes later, I saw Steve and his parents. My parents were taking care of Amaya all day and overnight, while Steve's parents kept him company in the hospital. I don't remember much of what Steve told me... I just remember him telling me that the tumor was benign and that Amaya was with my parents. Guess that was all that was on mind...

My hospital stay was very abbreviated - for which I am truly thankful. They inserted a drain right behind my ear to drain any fluid and for that reason, they kept me overnight. My overnight nurse was again absolutely awesome - very attentive and genuinely concerned. I felt bad because a trip to the bathroom only 5 feet away meant disconnecting my IV from the wall, unhooking my drain, taking off my pulse oximeter measuring my heart rate and oxygen level, and taking off my SCDs from my legs (compression devices to prevent blood clots - that in my humble opinion only disrupt a person's sleep and don't really do any good) only to then put them back on a few minutes later. I usually tried to time my trips when he had to give me pain medication or check my vital signs, but from 1am- 4am both me and my roommate were undisturbed and got some good sleep!

Steve had planned on spending the night with me in the hospital, but because I was in a semi-private room, there was barely enough room for him to even sit comfortably in a chair. He was at my bedside when I woke up that morning - what a great thing to see - he's pretty awesome too! My doctor came in right away in the morning and pulled the drain - probably one of the most disturbing things I had to go through during my entire stay - and she said I was good to go home! Seriously? She reassured me that everything went well in surgery - that all of my nerves were intact - and I'd follow up with her in three months. I still felt drugged up and woozy and unsure if I was going to be able to care for my incision at home, but if I'm good to go - let's go! Unfortunately, we had to wait nearly three hours for my prescriptions to get filled. Grr...

The remainder of Saturday went well... picked up Amaya and rested for most of the day. Sunday didn't go so well... Trying to find a delicate balance between taking enough pain medication without getting constipated was too difficult despite my best efforts - so no fancy schmancy medication for me... just Tylenol. And whether it was the lasting effects of the anesthesia or the pain medications or all of the above... my stomach didn't like anything I was doing and let me know it wasn't happy! Nurse Steve to the rescue! I'm so thankful for him!! I was able to get a good nap in after that episode and the remainder of the evening we rested while sipping apple juice.

Today's been a good day - except that our furnace died this morning. The pain is manageable with Tylenol - not ideal, but better than being constipated, drugged up, and drowsy all day. My left ear is still in a fog... feels like half of my head is underwater. My mom's going to bring me some mineral oil tomorrow to try to dry up the fluid that is in there. One of my nerves still hasn't woken up from surgery - the one that controls my smile... Grrr... I didn't think I was that vain of a person... but maybe I am. My doctor said it could take anywhere for a couple of days to up to a year for it to return back to normal. Let's hope it'll just be a few days... I kinda liked my smile... :-)

Steve's mom was able to come over for a few hours today to play with Amaya while Steve did some homework and I napped. Steve starts back up with grad school tomorrow evening and Thursday evening until the first week of August. My mom is planning on coming over tomorrow night to help with Amaya. Steve is still on a weight restriction for another 3 weeks, (but has been bending the rules a little) and I have a 10 pound weight restriction for another week... so Amaya has had to learn to be a little more independent!

In the past four months, we've had a total of four hospitalizations, two surgeries, and 3 ER visits (and that's just Steve and me!) What I've learned is this: God is faithful. God is always with us. God is just a prayer away. God will provide. God will supply your needs. So many people have told us, "God will never give you more than you can handle." Over the past few weeks, I've questioned this over and over and over. So many times I've hit my breaking point where I just didn't think I could make it - where I literally wanting to crawl in my bed and throw the covers over my head and be done. When Steve had to have surgery... When Amaya got the stomach flu... When I got hives... When I had to have surgery... Without my family, my church, my friends, my co-workers to uplift me, support me, encourage me... I wouldn't have been able to make it through... but without God... I am nothing... But with God and His faithful servants - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!!

Birthday Musings

Happy Birthday to ME! I've had a great start to the day so far.... woke up at 5:30am and headed off to my Cycle (spinning) class! I've absolutely come to love every woman in the class for their openness, vulnerability and support they've given me these past 6 weeks. We sweat, we cry, we laugh - it's great!

Not sure what the day holds for us yet as everyone else is still sleeping.... Steve mentioned something about going to the Mall of America, but I'm not sure... Tonight we'll celebrate with my parents, brother and his family. Definitely looking forward to someone else's cooking tonight - especially my mom's!

This birthday is certainly different in that I really have no clue what the next year holds for me. My dear friend and Bible study leader sent me this prayer... she's had her own personal journey with cancer and is walking through the fire right now. Such encouragement from such an amazing woman! After reading her e-mail, how can I not have hope in the Lord?

"Lord, You oversee every detail of my life. You have assigned my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. In faith I can proclaim that You have caused my boundary lines to fall in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance. I have set You always before me. Because You are at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Father, although the journey I am on is not always easy, I thank you for holding me in Your arms when I am afraid and feel that the circumstances are overwhelming. help me to rest and trust You. I confess, Father, that I am not good at resting in You. Like an active two-year-old, I would rather be doing something than sitting still. Father, forgive me for my restlessness and prideful nature. Help me trust You to supply all my needs for each and every day. Thank You for Your help and presence!"

I'm continuing to rest in God's promises... asking for courage... asking for strength... and the ability to trust...