Finally - First Day of Preschool Pictures

It's hard to believe that Amaya has already completed her first month of preschool. Here are the pictures I took of her first day on September 10th.

She's SOO excited about wearing her new Dora backpack!

A closer view...

This month, they are focusing on triangles, the color orange, and the number 3. I like that she's going to a Christian preschool because she's also learning about the Bible. This month they are studying Moses and David and they even have a memory verse every month. On October 29th, she's the star student, so we have to start thinking about a special project for her to bring in. Overall, she likes going and has met a few new friends. Two of the girls are also in her swimming class, so it's nice for her to see them a couple times a week. Grandma and Grandpa Gustafson are getting pretty good at dropping her off and picking her up, but tomorrow I finally get to pick her up!!

Silver Lake and Fire Prevention Week

To celebrate our engagement anniversary, the three of us went to Silver Lake where Steve and I had our first date and where Steve proposed.

It's a little corny... but I took a picture of the bench where Steve proposed...

Steve and Amaya

One happy family... six years later...

Afterwards, we went to grabbed a quick treat at Burger King and then headed to one of the fire stations in Rochester for an open house to recognize Fire Prevention Week. Amaya got a magnet with fire safety tips, a pencil, and a red fireman's hat. We were able to tour the fire station and check out where they slept and ate meals. She also got to hold the water hose and put out a fake fire. Amaya liked this activity the best, so she did it twice! We also toured the fire engines and talked with a fireman about how they can detect bodies in a house with an infrared light. Overall, we had a great night!

Six Years Ago Today...

... my life changed.

My best friend wanted to spend the rest of his life with me!

The love of my life asked me to marry him!

And on a glorious, sunny day like today... I said "YES!"

And for better or worse, good times and bad, it's been an awesome six years!

Swimming Class

It's been awhile... we're still adjusting to our new schedule and activities, but we're doing really good. Steve's health continues to improve and really enjoys his grad school internship. I'm continuing to love my new job in allergy and am enjoying my new Bible study group. Amaya is thriving at Grandma and Grandpa Gustafson's when I'm working, loves preschool (once she's eaten and has woken up a little), and loves, loves, loves her swimming class.

We've been taking the swimming classes offered through Community Education. It's a great program because the kids can get a little taste of an activity without putting in a lot of commitment, time, and money. This is the one class that she absolutely loves and is worth every penny!

The previous week was the first week that Amaya has been resisting me hold her. She's determined she wants to swim "by herself!" Her teacher encouraged me to just let her go and she what she could do. Tentatively, I let her go... and she went under and tried to doggie paddle, but she couldn't quite get herself back up. So... we keep trying... and she keeps getting braver. This week, her teacher wanted her to demonstrate to the class how to float on her back. She really does this skill very well, probably because she practices in the bath tub! In the pool, I hold her underneath her shoulders, tell her to pretend to take a nap, and look up at the ceiling and lo and behold she floats - with a little help from me. It's very hard not to be proud of her and think that we've got the next Michael Phelps on hands! She's very comfortable in the water and I think it helps that we've enrolled her in this class four times and will continue to keep her in it until she can have formal lessons on her own (plus it's a good work out for me as well!) Unfortunately, we've only got two more weeks of class left... but she's pretty excited because she'll start up gymnastics again in November!

A Little Closer to Normal

The past two days have been absolutely wonderful! Steve was discharged from the hospital Friday afternoon and is recovering well, Amaya has been her sweet self with very few temper tantrums, and I've had the chance to do a little reading, cross-stitching, and baking!

Today almost feels "normal". We did our usual Sunday morning grocery shopping (we typically go to church on Saturday night). Steve was able to come with and do a little clothes shopping for himself. We had lunch while watching the Vikings. Amaya helped me make some pumpkin bars to bring to work tomorrow. It's a good day! There's nothing like having Steve home with football in the background, the smell of pumpkin warming the house, and watching a little girl sneak frosting out of the bowl. I take that back... it's a GREAT day!

Overwhelming Week

Monday: my last day on Dermatology - filled with lots of tears and lots of laughs. Once my manager gets approval from HR, I hope to stay supplemental to pick up extra hours if I'm needed. Already, I miss some of the patients, but I can't say I really miss the smell of tar.

Tuesday: I had an ENT follow up appointment since my benign tumor was removed from my parotid gland. Everything looks good and my "smile nerve" is almost back to normal. They still want me to follow up in 6 months to make sure that no new tumors have developed.

Steve had blood work scheduled that same morning, and Steve's dad graciously got him to the appointment and I caught up with them later. Since my last post, Steve's health rapidly deteriorated due to severe dehydration. He was so weak that he could hardly get up our stairs and needed to be escorted in a wheelchair. The nausea and vomiting was pretty bad too, so much that he was really only able to keep his medications down. We met with his GI doctor that afternoon and were directed to report to the ER to be evaluated. His potassium was dangerously elevated and sodium level was so low that he needed to be on a heart monitored bed. We were relieved that Steve was being admitted because we really didn't know what more we could do at home.

Wednesday: FIRST DAY IN THE ALLERGY DEPARTMENT!! Initally, I thought starting a new job in the midst of Steve's health problems may not have been the best or wisest decision, but God knew better! He knew I needed this job! I had probably one of the best days ever at work. The staff is amazingly supportive, encouraging, and friendly. I can't remember a time where I've felt so welcome and appreciated! The work is fascinating to me... did you know that there are over 18 different molds that we test a patient to? The patients are phenomenal... my manager is awesome and completely understands the challenges of taking care of an ill spouse and having a two year old at home. AND... I get a half an hour break in the morning AND an hour lunch break!!! (on my old floor, it was rare for me to get a full 30 minute lunch). During orientation, I'll primarily start working 4 hour days and after a couple months transition to 8 hour days part time.

After work, I picked up Amaya and we went to visit Steve in the hospital. (It's a little unnerving that Amaya knows her way around St. Mary's better than most people.) Steve looked absolutely awesome and was even able to take two short walks while we were there. He was feeling pretty good and tolerating solids. They did an endoscopy which we were relieved to find that it was normal.

Thursday: Half day on Allergy - My first day was primarily observation and today my preceptor asked if I wanted to observe more or dive into my first skin test. Of course - I wanted to dive right on in! The first skin test they want me to master is called the Basic Northern. We test patients to 7 different animals (cats, cattle, dogs, cockroaches, two different dust mites, and horses), 18 different molds, 11 different trees, 4 different grasses and 3 different weeds. It's absolutely fascinating to see the amount of allergens that they can test to! The day FLEW by and can't wait to go back on Monday!

After work, I picked up Amaya and visited Steve. He continues to improve and tolerate more foods, although he had quite a bit of gas pain last evening. Looks like the doctors will probably release him from the hospital either tomorrow or Saturday. They aren't in any rush to discharge him as they want to make sure he won't get dehydrated again.

TOMORROW! Amaya has preschool in the morning! When I get around to it, I'll post her first day of preschool pictures and schedule. She must really like her teacher, because every so often, I'll hear her talking about Mrs. Parker. Grandma and Grandpa Gustafson are going with us so they know how to drop Amaya off and pick her up on the days that I work. Eventually, once my schedule settles down and once her teacher wants volunteers, I'll probably help out when I can.

Upcoming week.... Steve hopes to return to his internship Monday - Friday ... I work Monday - Friday 8am-noon... Amaya starts swimming class on Monday night... I have a work party on Wednesday evening... Bible Study resumes on Thursday - I signed up for the evening session instead of the morning like I've done the past 3 years... it just wasn't going to work with my schedule at work... and preschool again for Amaya on Friday.

Thank you once again for all of the prayers and e-mails of encouragement. And a huge thank you to my parents and Steve's parents for playing with Amaya so much. We couldn't have made it through this week with the love and support of our friends and family and without God's strength!

Pressing On...

Steve was released from the hospital on Monday morning and both Amaya and I are thrilled to have him back home. While it's good to have him back home, things aren't back to normal and probably won't be until his next surgery in 6 months or so. We're still adjusting, trying to find a routine, trying not to be angry or frustrated, but today I was angry and frustrated. Angry that Steve has a chronic illness. Angry that he's gone through four hospitalizations and 2 surgeries in the past 8 months and he's still not healed. Angry that this whole ostomy thing was supposed to be "easy to manage." It took the two of us over a half an hour to "easily manage" it this morning and I've been TRAINED to take care of these. Angry that Steve has worked tirelessly through 5 years of school and is so close to the end, but because of his health, he may not be able to graduate in May with his classmates.

But... the positive: Steve is home. My parents and Steve's parents continue to be an incredible blessing and help us out with Amaya or the yardwork. Steve is home. Amaya has had less time-outs with Grandma Horning here. Steve is home. Grandma and Grandpa Horning watched Amaya and I bounce, flop, and go down slides at House of Bounce. Steve is home. Amaya has her very first day of preschool tomorrow! Steve is home. God is good and faithful... even when I'm angry and frustrated...

Update on Steve

The last few days have been an absolute blur, but the only thing that matters is that Steve is recovering very well. The doctors are looking at discharging him Monday or Tuesday and Amaya and I can't wait to have him home. He's gaining his strength gradually and feels stronger than when he last had surgery. The nurses want him walking and sitting up in the chair at least six times, but his goal is to walk and sit up in the chair NINE times. Can you say, overachiever? Sitting up from a lying position is the most painful for him, but otherwise he's not having a lot of pain that can't be managed by Tylenol or Ibuprofen. He's tolerating a full liquid diet for now, but will most likely be advanced to a soft diet today - eggs, toast, mashed potatoes, etc. Once he can tolerate a soft diet, he can go home. YAY!

After today, I have the next five days off of work, so I'll be home and able to help Steve when he's home from the hospital. Between working and visiting Steve (he's just a floor below where I work), I probably could've just slept overnight in his room. Let's just say, I'll be excited not to have to make the trek back and forth here for a few days.

Amaya's been doing great at Grandpa and Grandma Gustafson's house during this time. She loves all the attention and extra spoiling! After I picked her up yesterday, we spent the entire evening painting, coloring, cutting, and glueing special art projects for Grandma and Grandpa and Steve. She wants to be a doctor, but maybe we have an artist on our hands... I've missed her so much this week, so it was nice being able to spend some quality one on one time with her. We'll plan on doing some special things this next week... she wants to go to House of Bounce and to ABC/Toy Zone to pick out her special prize for reading this summer.

Hopefully, by the time I post an update again, Steve will be home!!!

Broken Record Player

I feel like I keep repeating myself over and over and over like some broken record player, but since I don't know what else to say - THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed for Steve today, who has prayed for me today, who has held my hand, given me a hug, watched Amaya, sent us an e-mail or message on facebook. It is because of you and the grace of God that I made it through the day. It's been a rough day... we received news that we didn't want to hear. Steve's surgery went well, just not like we had wanted it to go. Another upcoming surgery planned... another "wait and see" game... another "let's hope this works." I was selfishly hoping for my sake and for Steve's that this would be it - he'd be on the road to healing - this would be the last surgery and we'd be done. But... another surgery is in his future in the next few months... so discouraging... but I'm trying to find the silver lining.... trying to be positive... so... I'm so thankful for my parents - thankful that I didn't have to worry about Amaya all day knowing that she was being spoiled and cared for. I'm so thankful for my in-laws - thankful that they kept me company at the hospital, thankful that they took care of me, and thankful that they could still make me laugh. I'm thankful for Dr. C.'s skillful hands and for keeping Steve alive... thankful for Patty his attentive nurse.. thankful that we're at Mayo... thankful for a private room... thankful for modern medicine to take away pain. I'm thankful for Karen - someone completely unknown to me to take the time to stop and visit with us to pray and encourage us. I'm thankful for the people that God put in my path today - Janet and Elizabeth. I'm thankful for Steve... especially missing him tonight... thankful that he's strong... thankful that he's determined... thankful that he still has his sense of humor even while drugged up ... And I'm thankful I have a little girl who can hug and kiss me and as I tucked her in bed tonight she said, "Mommy, I missed you." And on that note... I go to bed thankful for all that God has blessed me with and have confidence that whatever tomorrow holds, He'll give me the strength that I need.

Steve's Surgery

It's another surgery day.... another day of hours of waiting... another day of hours of praying... another day of hours of worrying... another day of giving Steve over to God's capable hands.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for Steve and our family over the past 7 months. We've felt wrapped in God's love and your faithful prayers. On the days when I'm most discouraged, somehow God manages to find someone out there to send us an e-mail, or offer to watch Amaya, or call us with encouragement. We're constantly reminded that there are people out there loving us and supporting us from near and far away.

Our "new normal" routine has been hospital visits, surgery, CT scans, and antibiotics. The staff on Mayo 9 know Steve by name and even by the shoes he wears!

Things are the same in so many ways, yet so different. Steve hasn't been himself for such a long time, and when he feels good, I get encouraged that maybe we can get back to "normal". But on the days where he doesn't feel good, it's discouraging because he isn't himself and I wonder and worry that we'll never get back to "normal". So, we're trying to adapt to this new idea of "normal."

Never did I imagine on our wedding day, that when I vowed to take care of my husband "in sickness and in health," how literal that vow truly is. The hardest thing for me is seeing Steve in pain and there's absolutely nothing that I can do. I feel so helpless and absolutely terrified that I can't make it better. And so, daily, I have to give up control and give Steve completely and utterly to God.

These past 7 months have changed me... changed my relationship with God... changed my prayer life... changed our marriage... and all for the good, although some days it's hard to believe that God can use this for good. I'm learning to depend on God daily - sometimes hourly. I'm learning to communicate better with Steve and we've grown so much closer. I've realized that Steve has forever changed me and my life is so much better with him than without him. And I've learned never to take him or our family or friends for granted because in the past 7 months I've never needed everyone more.

So, as we approach this day... we ask for more prayers... prayers for wisdom for the doctors, nurses, anyone who cares for Steve today... prayers for peace and calm as we wait for his surgery to be over... prayers for his parents who will be graciously keeping me company at the hospital... prayers for my parents as they care for Amaya... prayers for good pain control... prayers for no nausea... prayers for restful sleep... prayers for healing... prayers for strength... prayers for a quick recovery... prayers for me while I'm working the next few days... Already, we've seen God answer so many prayers - Steve will be able to return to his internship when he is ready and I've been able to pick up two extra shifts at work. God's also provided us with normal days this past week - going to Mall of America for dinner watch Amaya go on rides, taking a boat ride with Steve's parents on Lake Pepin, and a beautiful day of going to open houses and garage sales. We're constantly reminded of God's faithfulness and provision.

I hope to update as quickly as possible on our blog, on facebook, and through e-mail when I have news to report.